Yet more…temptations (previous post)

(this is another previous post to give you more background and to bring you more up to date)

So I previously wrote about my recent run-in with temptation… that evil Bitch!! I know I sorta left things up in the air, but I wasn’t sure how things were going to turn out or what it was going to lead to or just how much trouble I might find myself in… So it’s about time I update you guys on the latest happenings.

I had previously mentioned my Married Man (MM), the new guy I have been chatting  emailing and talking to the last few weeks. Well that’s only become more intense. More texting, more emails, more calling. We have shared more and more of what we are about, our pasts, and everything in between. It’s sorta exciting to have a new person to share things with, maybe that’s the part that excites me? We have so much in common and we come from such similar backgrounds and life styles. It makes me very comfortable when talking to him. My boyfriend and I are from two opposite ends of the spectrum as far as how we were raised and what type of family dynamic we had growing up. (MM) and I value the same things as far as family and work and things like that. My relationship with my boyfriend has always been a struggle to say the least due to some of the bad decisions he has made over his life time. I sometimes feel like a parent/child relationship. My boyfriend, Chunk grew up with a shitty family, his mother was an addict, didn’t care for her children and so he was raised by his grandparents for the most part and on his own at 15. He’s done drugs the majority of his life and along with that made stupid decisions along the way. So there are a lot of things he has to deal with these days due to those stupid decisions. Like probation, tickets, fees, and all that goes along with that. I find that many times I  am resentful due to him having a hard time finding a descent job, what jobs he can find are not well-paying ones and I am usually stuck picking up the slack, paying his fines, fees and such that must be paid monthly to keep him from going back to jail.  Why do I stay??? I do love him deep down. He does have a good heart and for the most part he is a very loving man. He however, does lack responsibilities and maturity at times. So it just causes me more stress. With (MM), he has his shit together, has great work history, no troubles with the law, has responsibilities and I feel as though things with him would not be so difficult if we were to strike up something. I feel like I would not have to be so in control of everything, like I could let go of the reigns and relax a little, because I would be with someone who could be trusted to take care of some of the responsibilities.  I don’t know if that’s part of the reason that attracts me to (MM) so much?? Maybe it’s just that he’s new to me, he’s charming and sweet and says all the right things. However, in the back of my mind I think… Chunk already knows all the good, bad and the ugly about me and still worships the ground I walk on… that’s a good feeling. If I was to make a play for (MM), I would have to start all over.  I’m not sure that I want to start all over and have someone learn all my quirks, my habits, and such and it’s not a sure deal. It’s not a guarantee that we will be compatible in person – remember we haven’t met in person yet. So I’m just not sure about it all. I discussed it all with my sister while she was here this weekend and she asked what I would do if I went for (MM) and things didn’t work out.  I told her that just might be the chance I have to take. SOOOO everything is still up in the air.

Well I had mentioned Chunk, my boyfriend, had been acting sorta strange lately and I wasn’t sure what was up with that… well get this… the other night we were sitting watching some TV and I was on the computer not really paying attention, just listening. He’s been asking what I wanted for Christmas and my bday lately and I haven’t told him yet. I’m not sure. I usually buy whatever I want when I want it, so when holidays roll around it’s hard to decide what else I want. Well a jewelry commercial came on and out of nowhere he said, is that what you want? I look up and see jewelry, i said what? diamonds? of course, you can’t go wrong there. He said no, the other. I said what? He said to get married. The guy on the commercial was proposing to his woman. I almost choked. I said where did that come from? He said that it’s been on his mind a lot lately, I ask what has. He said he wondered if we had waited long enough, how long should you wait, did we need to wait longer, should he say something, should he just come out and ask, should he bring it up and talk about it…. just a lot of things he said. When he stopped, I just took a big drink of water cause I had no clue what to say. I said well that came outta the blue and then I said interesting and said I gotta go to the bathroom. I know, what a way to leave the conversation  I was sure I had made it clear in the past on a few occasions that I was not wanting to get married. Guess he figures I might have changed my mind. Well I know for sure that I will NOT marry Chunk  while he is still on probation. I don’t want to have to deal with all of that, which I already am dealing with now. But at any moment any screw up and he could easily go away for a long time. I have to admit I have even thought about – well if he went to jail then I would be off the hook without having to break his heart. I know, that’s horrible to say it… so I typed it instead !!

I used to be so bad about not wanting a guy to call me his girlfriend or them my boyfriend. I would tell them – labels only cause problems… my real reason behind it was so that there was NOTHING official and if I found something or someone else that seemed more entertaining, TECHNICALLY I wasn’t cheating because we were not officially boyfriend and girlfriend… I know… shame on me !!

So that was a new kink thrown into the mix….

I had also mentioned The Traveler in my previous post, the guy I dated many years ago. The one who looked me up after over 8 years to profess his love for me and the mistake he made of letting me go.  To let me know how he would like to correct that mistake if at all possible. He travels a lot for his job, so that helps right now him not being close enough to do me danger right now. He messaged me the other day and was upset about a comment made on FB about Chunk bringing marriage up. I didn’t say anywhere on FB that I had said yes. I said that it was out of the blue and I thought Chunk was just fishing for information. So Traveler was upset and was asking if I was planning on marrying Chunk. I did have to bring him back to reality in our latest text session here’s how it went:

TT: Greetings from frozen Canada
ME: Hi
TT: Are you naked?? I wanna see…
ME: I’m still at work
TT: So that’s a no huh..
ME: LOL
TT: What time do you get off tonight?
ME: I’m leaving in a few minutes
TT: So naked by 530…. COOL
ME: It’s nearly 6 now.
TT: Sorry on mountain time here.
ME: It’s okay
TT: So you will be naked for me by 6:30, 7 somewhere in there?
ME: No, I’m not getting naked till bed time.
TT: That’s a yes. Your bedtime needs to be 7 tonight.
ME: LOL I don’t think so.
TT: You’re getting the theme here right? I WANNA SEE YOU NAKED !!!
ME: I somehow figured that one out.
TT: I wanna see you now !
ME: Well then you better come home.
TT: I can’t wait till then.
ME: NO, Maybe when you come home. You have waited 8 years I think you can wait a few more weeks.
TT: What do you mean NO ?
ME: NO, NOPE, Opposite of Yes… LOL
TT: I definitely don’t like the word No now. 8 years was 8 years to long.
ME: I think you will be fine waiting a little longer.
TT: You’re a comedian.
ME: You ran off and got married.
TT: Yes, and I made a mistake.
ME: It’s okay. But now if you want me, You have to come and get me.
TT: I leave Canada tomorrow…what do I get when I come back home, you under me or on top… YOUR choice.
ME: LOL !! You’re pretty sure of yourself huh???
TT: You’re not??
ME: Have you really through this out? Are you really planning on leaving her?
TT: What are you expecting?
ME: I don’t expect anything because you’re the one that’s married now. There is nothing I can do about that fact.
TT: Not at all – YOU have a big say in this.
ME: I mean really have you really thought about this? Are you gonna give up your new house, your land? I’m not moving there. So are you planning on moving back here? You’re the one that would have to make a lot of changes and I don’t know that you have really thought this through.
TT: You know I have been looking for you for years. I told you that. My marriage has been over for years as well. I don’t care about the house and land, she can have it, if it means I need to move back to be with you I will do that. I just want you to gimme another chance, I won’t make the same mistake again. I won’t let you go this time.
ME: I don’t want to be the reason you finally divorce and I can’t promise that there will be a future with us. A long time has gone by and people change.
TT: I just want you to see me, gimme that. I need to see you. I need to hold you again. I have missed you more than you know.
ME: I’m just not used to you being so vocal with your feelings. It’s a little scary to me.
TT: Well that doesn’t really answer my question, but I want to see you, I really do.
ME: I’m blown away by you telling me how you feel. I would like to see you again.
TT: Do you plan on marrying him?
ME: I do not plan on marring him or anyone else anytime soon. I especially will not marry him while he is still on probation.
TT: Well I hope you don’t. I hope you wait and give me a chance to show you I have changed and show you how much I love you.
ME: Well lets just take things one day at a time and see what happens.

THERE YOU GO – Do you see the nonsense I am dealing with as of late??? The kicker here and the reason I haven’t just told TT to go take a flying leap…. we used to have some of the greatest sex. Some of the best I’ve had. He would definitely be up there in my top list. I really did care about him back then, however I never came out and told him so. He had a hard exterior and was not going to be open up and let a woman get in close enough to hurt him, so he kept me at arms distance and never expressed his feelings so I in turn didn’t either. But we did have some great sex along the way. He has done some of my most favorite things…

I remember on time we were having sex and as he had me bent over his bed and was going to town pumping in and out of me as he was slapping my ass, we were both so turned on. We had been going at it for a while and had worked up a sweat. It was getting really hot in there, our bodies where sweaty and TT reached over and grabbed a bottle of water from the stand next to the bed. It was room temp but as he slowly began to pour it on my ass it sent chills through my body while setting it on fire even more. The water ran down my back getting my hair wet and running off over my shoulders. It made my pussy twitch with excitement. He asked if I wanted more and oh boy did I… so he poured more onto my ass and this time it ran down my ass and across my pussy as he continued to pump harder and faster into me. It was so intense. So hot, exciting and turned me on so much. I exploded almost immediately. Somehow I managed to have a bottle of water near the bed most nights before we went to bed – just in case it got a little hot  Damn, I’m all turned on right now just thinking about it. TT has an awesome cock and he was always more than ready to please me with it as much as I could handle.

I was never a huge fan of anal, but it can definitely be pleasurable when done correctly and when your partner knows what he is doing and takes his time. There was a time we were in the living room and I don’t remember what got us so worked up but as I was standing behind his couch he came up behind me and pinned me between him and the couch. I could feel his rock hard cock pressed against my ass as he begins to undress me. He began to tease me by rubbing his cock up and down my ass, this is always a big turn on to me. TT tells me to spread my legs slightly which i eagerly do. He reaches down to tease at my clit and get my juices flowing. He licks his finger and then returns to circle my clit before sliding in and out a couple of times. He licks and kisses on my neck which is always a weakness of mines and gets me worked up in no time at all. He pushes me over the back of the couch as he begins to rub the head of his cock up and down my pussy dipping the head into my juices and then trail my juices to my ass. He then tells me he is going to ease himself into my ass. He tells me to remain still and relax. The pain of his cock spreading me open hurts, but I don’t stop him. I do my best to relax as much as possible. Take a few deep breaths. He then stops as he gets the head just inside. He now tells me that he wants me to take control. He wants me to back up against his cock at my own pace. He wants me to fuck him with my ass. I slowly begin to back up against him, the pain soon turns to pleasure. He reaches down to massage my clit which has my juices flowing. This causes me to slide up and down along his hard cock. The pleasure was insane. My legs begin to tremble as my juices are pouring down my legs. He’s gripping my hips and holding me against the couch so I don’t lose my balance. I am loving the feeling of him filling my ass with his cock. I finally tell him to fuck me… I think just hearing that causes him to explode which he does inside my ass. It was so hot, such a turn on. I am so fucking turned on right now. I’m gonna have to cut this post short and go take matters into my own hands. Chunk is already asleep so I think I prefer to do it myself tonight

I will fill you in on the rest of the story soon.

Hope you all have a Sinful Sunday!!! (it was obviously a Sunday when I wrote this)

~THE FLIRT~

Temptation – (previous post)

(Previous post from my old blog to give you some background on how I met my Married Man)

Temptation is an evil Bitch

 

At my job there are times when I have a lot of down time and that leaves me time to do other things. I thought it might be cool to have someone new to chat with and help pass the time. So I placed an ad to make a chat/pen pal. I was honest and made it clear that I was just looking for platonic chatting, that I was in a relationship and not looking to change that status. So, over time I have met a few cool people. The few that I keep in contact with regularly are either married and just looking for a chat friend as well, live in another state or country, or travel all the time and just looking for someone to talk to while traveling and such. Anyone that was looking for more or trying to push a more physical, sexual conversation was quickly deleted. That kind of conversation comes on my terms at my comfort level. I had been asked a few times for my number, but didn’t give it out. I don’t have a good signal at work, so I don’t get to text while at work (usually) and I didn’t want to text after hours because I didn’t want Chunk (my boyfriend) to start questioning things. This was not for the intention of causing us any problems or stress. Well, I have been really good about this email and keeping things on the up and up with anyone that has emailed me. Well a couple of weeks ago, (this was back the end of Oct) I got an email from a guy that was married and just looking for a chat friend too. Over time of emailing back and forth about regular stuff, nothing big really, we have struck up a pretty good friendship so far. Well, when I went out-of-town with my mom, last week, this guy (Married Man) gave me his number if I wanted to text him. I didn’t have internet access in the woods on my lap top and it was easier just to text vs checking my email on my phone… so I did it – I texted him. Since then we haven’t stopped texting. We have exchanged photos and already had a few phones calls as well. His marriage is on the outs – NOT because of me, it was already on the outs, but it’s nearing it’s finally stages. We have talked a lot about what we have gone through in the past in relationships past and present and we seem to have a lot in common on a variety of levels. Anyway… he knows about Chunk and all of that, but he’s become really smitten I suppose you can say. He’s made it very clear that if Chunk screws up then he would love to swoop right in. I must admit I do like his company, and anticipate hearing from him.

BESIDES that… which is enough in it’s own, an old boyfriend from about 8 years ago found me on Facebook a little over a week ago. We have played catch up a little bit as to what’s going on in each other’s lives. I saw that he was married and asked for how long and he then told me that it was a huge mistake, one of the biggest mistakes he’s ever made to let me go. First I was flattered and shocked by the comment. He wasn’t one to express his feelings in such a way in the past. Might have been one of the reasons I left him. I then inquired as to why? He said he didn’t realize what he had until I walked out. I was like wow, that’s very sweet of you to say. So he’s been blowing up my phone and calling and telling me how much he loves me. He said he loved me back then but didn’t know how to show it. He said a lot of things like how he would go back and change things if he could, how his life would be so different if he would have chased me down. He said he had looked for me over the years and never found me. My stuff is invisible on FB, so you can’t find me very easily. He tells me how much he misses me and misses the times we had and blah blah… it’s crazy. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON??? This guys lets call him The Traveler. I really cared about him back in the day and we had some amazing sex. I never really came out and told him I loved him because he was kinda a hard ass, like had this attitude where he wasn’t going to let a woman get close to him and hurt him so he was sorta hard to read. He didn’t express his feelings – which is one of the reasons I had no clue how strongly he felt about me. The Traveler mentioned that if he got the chance he would never make the same mistake twice. So,  now what?  you might ask??? WHO THE HELL KNOWS??? The Traveler, travels a lot for work and he has since moved near Houston so he’s not as close as he used to be… not that he wouldn’t move back here if I said the word… I just have that feeling. He’s already mentioned how unhappy he has been in his marriage and how they haven’t touched each other in over a year and how he plans on finding a way out of this. PLEASE don’t let me be the reason I asked. I told him there was nothing I could promise him at this time or in the future… I have no idea what the future holds at this point.

 The Traveler started asking me what happened to us, and I honestly don’t even remember. I think maybe I was dating other guys at the same time and something else entertained me more and we just drifted apart…. I didn’t tell him that, but I think that’s what happened. He called me the other night while I was at my mom’s and I talked to him right in the same room where Chunk was. I kept it low-key, made sure to ask questions about his wife, so Chunk knew he was married, that kinda stuff. Then Chunk started asking who it was after I was done and I made light of it. He said it sounded like we were catching up so it must have been someone I had known in the past. I told him it was an old boyfriend from years and years ago who had found me on fb. Chunk didn’t have too much to say about it.

I don’t know if Chunk is worried or not. I have been doing a lot of texting as of late between my Married Man and The Traveler.  Chunk has seen the increased amount of texting, which is not something I usually do… I don’t know how he’s feeling about it, but something stirred up because he’s been acting sorta strange the last couple of days. Night before last we were getting gas and before he got out he made it a point to tell me I love you more than you will ever know and just sorta stared at me. I was like, I love you too. Then last night he made it a point to kiss me really passionately, it was sorta out of nowhere. He was doing homework and I went in and he grabbed me and pulled me onto his lap and just hugged me really tight and buried his face in my shoulder. I don’t know but it’s strange. He was texting me this morning telling me he was thinking of me and loved me and missed me already. OMG – WTH have I gotten myself into????

I sorta feel guilty, but then again I don’t. I wonder sometimes if I am the type of person to be monogamous? I mean I can for a while, but then for some reason, I need the intensity I get from doing something wrong. I actually was so turned on this morning from texting with my Married Man, I masturbated  I swear it took about 30 seconds, that’s how hot I was… and I don’t really know why, we were not talking sexual or dirty in any way. So that’s really strange. I guess just the thoughts running through my head got the best of me.

I was sitting at the table the other night visiting with my sister, my gpa and Chunk was sitting there too, I was texting with my Married Man during all of this… I know, I live dangerously texting another man while my boyfriend sits not 2 feet from me. I was at least positioned where he could not see the screen on my phone. My sister had previously asked me earlier who I was texting when Chunk wasn’t around and I told her my new friend, Married Man. She then said does Chunk know Married Man? I said no, she said would Chunk approve?  I said, HELL NO. So she said ohh, okay. She didn’t ask any further questions after that – which is really unusual for her since she is the nosiest person I have ever met in my life. So when we were sitting at the table later and I was next to my sister and texting, my youngest nephew walked up between us and looked over my shoulder and out loud said who is Married Man (actually said his name out loud)? I almost died. My sister said what did I tell you about minding your business. We just kept talking and tried to pass over it. Don’t know if Chunk caught on or not. I really wanted to bust out laughing, but kept my composure. I was for sure I was busted. I didn’t dare even look at Chunk cause you would have seen the quilt smeared across my face. I have NO poker face what-so-ever. I honestly don’t know where I am going with this or what the hell I am even doing.

Temptation – what a bitch you can be !

~THE FLIRT~