(Wish I had good old Paul Harvey to tell “The Rest of the Story” – some previous info to continue your review)
I had a few more questions that come up from Dr. M and a couple of other friends, so I wanted to give the others of you that might be interested in some further details some more background info into this chaotic confusion !!!
In regards to the matter of his wife still living in the apt w/ him. He has thought about getting a new place for him, but he moved down here about 6 mo ago the first time they split and so she is not on the lease and she can’t afford that apt by herself. So he can’t really leave her there w/o him still being responsible for the apt. (Recent Update) He found out that there is a buyout option where he can pay a certain percentage to buyout the remainder of his lease without penalties and he said this might be the best option and then he can just move to another place without worrying about the lease there.
He has also offered to help her pay her deposits and first mo rent to get her a new place, but she is dragging her feet. She has looked at a couple of places. She wants to stay close to where they are now because it’s close to her work and she doesn’t want to be to far from her work. She asked if she could stay there until first of Feb to help save her some money. She said she was going to get her a part-time job on the weekends but hasn’t done that as of yet do to the binge drinking she has been doing. As soon as his daughter left to go to his mom’s she has been drunk almost every night. Driving drunk and everything. She has already had 1 DWI in the past and he’s hoping she gets another and that will give him more than enough reason to get sole custody. She isn’t fighting him for any of his 401K or full custody or anything right now… so he’s trying to keep it as easy as possible and not piss her off, that’s why we are trying to keep it low-key. If she finds out about me, she could take half of everything and then try to fight for custody which will just take more time and more costs in court. Right now she seems to be talking to some other guy too, not that she will admit it, but he heard the voice-mail one night when she was trashed. Well his mom was unable to keep up with his daughter and they were bringing her home earlier than planned, and his wife got pissed. She said that this was supposed to be her break time and why wasn’t his sister helping his mom and maybe she would at least keep her through Christmas. I couldn’t believe her. He says she doesn’t care about being a mom – I see that for sure. He forwarded me her texts about it, I was shocked.
If he does get sole custody how do you feel about being a mommy? Are you prepared for that?
I hope he does and that would be perfectly fine with me. I love little kids… especially at the age where they are not completely RUINED yet Everyone always tells me I would make a great mom – I just never found the one I wanted to have a kid with. But I do adore my sister’s kids and have had a hand in raising them and I do have a few friends who’s kids I love to spoil rotten as well. I wouldn’t mind spoiling his little girl. From the sounds of it her bio-mom is a piece of shit mom. This baby girl deserves so much more !! The mom is 29 and he says she acts like she is 16. She has a prescription drug and drinking problem. She has already been to rehab once and sounds like she hasn’t beat it yet.
He’s been having it rough the last week since his daughter got back. His “ Satan” is really pissed about having to watch their daughter all day while he works and she is really giving him attitude about it. He ended up calling the cops on her the other night when his daughter came home, she took off and got plastered. He called the cops and hoped they would find her and get her DWI. They got in a huge fight when she showed up at 3 am after saying she wasn’t coming home at all. Things are going down faster than ever… can’t say I’m not happy about that. It puts him in a yucky mood though, not with me, but stresses him out which definitely puts a damper on his mood. It definitely affects the way he talks and chats with me. Not really in a bad way, just little differences. He just isn’t so mushy all the time and he complains a lot about her. I feel like a lot of our conversations revolve around all the bullshit she is doing to piss him off and how much he hates her and hates it there and how miserable he is… I can only take so much. I keep trying to keep a smile on my face and stay positive for him and try to make him smile and laugh and distract him from the obvious whenever possible, but its hard. Today while we were talking on my lunch break he said something about me not emailing him the way I used to and as often as I used to. I then told him well why should I, you don’t hardly check your email or respond anymore… then he felt bad. I told him he had been pretty lackadaisical lately and he was slacking. He said he was such a horrible boyfriend and he was so sorry. I was really just giving him a hard time, but in the same breath letting him know, I noticed he was slacking. He said I tried to explain I was worried about getting in this mood and I didn’t want you to see me like this and I didn’t want you to take this personal if he became pissy and upset about all that was going to happen in this divorce process. I explained to him that I understood his frustrations and I would be in the same boat if it was me. I also told him that it was okay for me to see him moody because I’m sure it won’t be the last time and that I needed to know I could stick by him in bad times too… I told him he was lucky I loved him as much as I did. He agreed that he was a very lucky man. Well I try to keep a happy face on… but deep down I just wanna scream at him. SHIT OR GET OFF THE POT !! I told him my situation is just moving faster than yours. He said well mine is moving along, I said NO it’s not. He said well it is, it’s almost to the point where I just say FUCK IT… I wanted to say why should it have to get to that point??? I didn’t though. I don’t want to come off pushy. So then he gets home to her saying that she is in trouble and has to go up to her office. She is a receptionist at a dr office and she was suppose to be checking voice mails and calling people back and the drs found out she wasn’t and called her and told her to come up to the office to talk to her. He thinks she might be getting fired. He said he doesn’t know what he will do if she gets fired. I wanted to say – kick her out on her ass. But I know he won’t. So here is how our texts went….
(MM)– She is waiting on the doc to get there to talk to her.
Me – I see
(MM) – Why would she be coming up there unless they wanted to fire her?
(MM) – They already had a stern talking to her last week.
Me – Did you hear her talk to them? Are you sure that’s where she was really going?
(MM) – she just called me from there.
Me – Oh, guess she’s there then.
(MM) – I texted her and told her to bring something home for dinner so she has to come back and I can tell her to pay her half of the rent before she blows it on beer.
(MM) – Here is the text she sent me
SATAN – She hasn’t gotten here yet. Do you want me to call a delivery order and I can pay with my card?
(MM) – Here is what I replied.
(MM) – We will be fine! Please drop off the car seat in my truck if you decide to go on another binge.
Me – why would she have it delivered unless she doesn’t plan on coming home tonight?
(MM) – exactly !!
Me – I’m sorry you feel responsible for her.
(MM) – Financially by law I am until we get legal separation or divorce.
(MM) – I don’t know what to do if she gets fired.
Me – so she moves out or you move out and then you still have to take care of her till divorce is over?
(MM) – not if she moves out.
Me – what if you move out?
(MM) – Then I have abandoned the marriage.
Me – I just think her behavior as of late is putting your daughter in danger and that alone should be grounds to remove her from that unsafe environment.
SATAN – Your dinner should be there in about an hour, it’s paid for including the tip, from cowboys chicken. I got you the enchiladas with no cilantro and pookie chicken nuggets w/ extra corn fritters and mac n cheese and 2 brownies.
(MM) – (to her) Why do you do crap like that? You make me so made sometimes. That was nonsense.
SATAN – Most people would say fn thank you.
(MM) – (to her) most people would have discussed it first. You are NOT working that damn late.
(MM) – (to me) that was the last of our conversation. How stupid does she think I am?
Me – guess your eating what she says tonight. LOL You just thought you had a choice. LOL
(MM) – I won’t eat that crap. I am cooking dinner now.
You know… it’s bad enough to hear it from him… I can’t tell you how mind numbing it is to have to read their fights with each other through texts that he send to me. Where on earth did he get the notion that I would be interested in seeing or knowing this??? I have never asked to see texts or ever sent him anything Chunk or I have ever said to each other… sorta strange.
ANYWAY !!! I’m sorta glad this horrible cold/cough I have already has me horse with no voice, cause if not, I think I could scream until I lost my voice.
I so want to take a huge swig of cough syrup and wrap up in a blanket and hibernate until my alarm goes off in the morning.